New Blog!

Hey, folks! Guess what....I have a new blog! As much as I love this blog and found it really was a wonderful project to work on while I was planning our wedding, I realized once the wedding was over that there wasn't that much left for me to say.

I may still post little tidbits here from time to time, like if I'm helping a friend with his/her wedding and feel like they have a unique vendor or project to share, but the bulk of my blogging will likely take place here from now on:

candiceeley.wordpress.com

Come by and check it out sometime -- it will be photography focused, with a healthy dose of travel and food/bar stuff thrown in. Pretty much no wedding stuff though, if that's your bag. Unless I take photos at a friend's wedding. Which could happen. Just sayin'.

Thanks for reading!

Etsy Love: Gift Giving

I know...I've been a bad blogger. Truthfully, I didn't have much motivation to do wedding blogging after the wedding was over, but a couple of things happened in the last couple of weeks to make me break out the Blogger pages:

1. A very lovely couple contacted me to find out if I was interested in selling the many jars I had collected from our centerpieces because they, too, would like to do something similar. It was awesome both to get rid of the jars that had been taking up space in my house and hear that local brides were actually reading my blog and even finding it helpful.

2. Not too long after that, we discovered that a slow water leak under our house had been basically turning our house into a sauna, which led to extensive mold damage to a lot of items we were storing in our guest room, and a lot of those were wedding items. By wedding shoes (which I did plan to wear again) were totally ruined. Our cute little card tree went in the trash. But the most upsetting? My gown has mold damage. Yup, you heard me. I am going to take it to a preservation/cleaner for a consult to see if they can save it.

So, with so many of our little momentos thrown out in the trash this weekend, I wanted to revisit some of the things that made our wedding, in our opinions, awesome.

Let's start by wrapping up the Etsy Love category with attendant gifts.

We had a really hard time deciding what to get our attendants. They were all brothers and sisters, and we wanted to get something that would not only be a nice gesture but also appreciated and, dare I say it, actually used.

For my sister and sister-in-law, I went with jewelry. Seems like an obvious choice, I know, but I spent hours shopping (both on and offline) trying to find just the right items that would be beautiful and personal. For my sister-in-law, I picked out this silver necklace from madebysam:

I had it personalized with a citrine stone, which was doubly significant because yellow was one of our wedding colors and happened to be my sister-in-law's birthstone. For my sister, I picked out this owl-riffic number from LittleGreenRoom:

In case you haven't noticed, owls are kind of a thing with me, and that all started with my niece and a pair of owl pajamas I gave to her before she was born. Continuing the owl theme seemed extra important when I saw that this necklace featured and owl that the designer called "Hedwig, the protector." Given everything that has happened to my sister, she needs any extra protection she can get.

For the men, we gave them all the same thing: silver guitar picks with their initials engraved on them from bellabuttondesigns. Sounds kinda silly, but all the men involved each play some form of stringed instrument, and music has been a big role in all of our collective lives. I think they were well received.

Ceremony, Part II

JT's sister and brother

We made a lot of budget-friendly decisions, but hiring a string trio probably wouldn't be considered one of them. That said, it was a fantastic decision. Francesca at Caprice Strings was super easy to work with, and having two contemporary songs arranged especially for the ceremony made everything so much more meaningful. As we all took our places to begin walking down the aisle, I was feel good...smiling and excited. Then Caprice Strings began playing Badly Drawn Boy's "The Shining," and by the third note, I couldn't hold back the tears. Walking down the aisle, hearing that song, and seeing all of our friends and family gathered around, I'm pretty sure I was teared up all the way to the altar.

My sister and JT's brother

When I joined JT at the front, David (or friend/officiant) casually said "how you doing?" To which I replied, "I'm already crying!" Interestingly, once we got going, I mostly maintained my composure and was able to get through the rest of the ceremony relatively tear free.

We began with two readings. The first was Corinthians. Neither Jeff nor I practice any religion, but our families do, and this was incorporated to honor them. And to honor my family specifically, it was read by my grandfather in French (did I mention that my family is French?). He began by saying that he would read Corinthians 13 in French, just as it had been read to him and my grandmother at their wedding nearly 60 years ago. People commented all day on how beautiful and moving it was. The next reading was a Native American blessing read by JT's mother, which she picked out. Here, again, the tears started to flow. As she began, she got very choked up, which in turn got everyone else very choked up.

For our vows, JT and I worked on crafting our own based on literature. We reviewed several books of "wedding friendly" literary quotes, selected a few that really spoke to us, and crafted those words into vows that David spoke, having us repeat them to each other. It was absolutely perfect, having our vows say exactly what we wanted to express but exchanged in a traditional way. The vow exchange even prompted a few laughs, as David read off a rather long line, and I got halfway through before stopping and asking him to prompt me. Think of President Obama and Justice Roberts doing the Presidential oath. It was a little like that, and frankly, it was kind of a nice way to lighten the tension.

After exchanging rings and the, as David would say, "ceremonial exchange of cooties," we turned and headed back down the aisle to Caprice Strings playing "Summer is Coming" by Matt Pond PA. Amazing.

A little funny side note from the ceremony: Our adorable flower girls (my sister's daughter and JT's sister's two girls) apparently were having difficulty figuring out how many petals to throw and exactly when to throw them, so when they got up to the end of the aisle, JT's brother-in-law said something to the effect of "make sure you use up all the flowers." So the three of them then stood at the end of the aisle emptying their baskets. I wish I could have seen it, because everyone said it was incredibly cute.

'Twas the Night Before...

In 13 hours, I'll be walking down the aisle. It feels totally surreal. I'm nervous and excited and so many more things...mostly thrilled at seeing all my friends and family and how happy they are to be celebrating with us.

Right now, I'm enjoying a bit of zen-Candice time, at home all by myself. I know most people would think it's a little odd to want to spend the night before the wedding all alone, but having a little quite time after a very, very busy week is pretty nice. Over the past week, there have been last minute clitches, many of which I will share with you after the big day (though a few things cropped up that gave me momentary panic attacks, they're actually kind of funny. They'll be even funnier one day looking back). There's been lots of crafting, a small amount of crying, and a ton of laughing. And eating. Here are a few moments from the past 2 days:

I can't believe how quickly the last 9 months have gone by! See you on the other side!

Five Days to Go...

The purpose of this post is not for me to complain about how much I feel like I still have to do before this Saturday. Or that I feel like everything is going by WAY too fast. Or that my to-do list keeps getting longer instead of shorter. Or that I'm worried that my skin will break out or my dress won't zip up. Or that there are, of course, crazy last minute glitches that I was really, really not prepared for. It's really not about that, I swear.

This post is a public reminder to myself to enjoy the next four days. And to help keep focused on that goal, here's a picture from Sunday's wedding shower (that's right, I said "wedding" shower and not bridal, because it was a shower for both me and JT. Contrary to popular belief, a wedding also involves a groom). The shower was a wonderful moment of just enjoying and not worrying. I give you JT and our friend/officiant David cracking up at....something.

Thanks to Spencer Tuck for capturing this and many other great moments. I highly recommend making friends with people that are talented behind a camera. You will reap many rewards.

Wigging Out

My sister is having a wedding fashion crisis. A cancer-related wedding fashion crisis.

When JT and I first got engaged and set our wedding date, my sister was enjoying a wonderful cancer-free period, even sporting a pretty good head of regrown hair. It was early this summer that we learned her cancer had returned and it was back to chemo she went. No one anticipated that she would be attending the wedding bald.

Frankly, I'm simply happy to have her at the wedding, regardless of the condition of her hair. She can walk down the aisle in all her bald glory as far as I'm concerned. Few people make bald look as good as my sister can. But not wanting her baldness to be the center of attention, we dicussed some options. Perhaps a cool scarf, with a flower pinned to it. Wigs, after all, are uncomfortable, itchy and hot.

But as the day draws closer, she thinks maybe a wig is the way to go after all. A wig provides more possibilities for hair accessories, since it's pretty hard to attach a feathery fascinator without any hair.

Here's where you come in! Help my sister figure out which way to go. Here's a picture of her at another wedding, fully wigged:

And here she is sporting the scarf look:

What do you think? I was partial to the scarf idea, and I think I know why -- to me, my sister wearing a wig looks like a different person. But my sister wearing a scarf still looks like my sister. Of course, I can totally understand feeling like a scarf won't quite cut it on the wedding day and wanting to do something more formal, more elaborate. No matter what, I want her to pick something that makes her feel comfortable.

What do you think?

Weekend Update

Now begins the crunch -- just 40 days to go! Both JT and I knew that after this past week, it was gonna be nothing but appointments and errands, so we had scheduled this weekend to be filled with only fun stuff. Like a sailing trip around San Diego Bay with JT's parents. Little did I know that much more had been planned for me.

My two friends at work had warned me about a special surprise on Saturday, though they gave me very little indication of what that surprise would be. They simply told me to be ready at my house at 11 a.m., at which point they picked me up and whisked me away for an afternoon at the spa! It was pretty darn awesome, and exactly what I needed after a stressful summer. After a massage, a eucalyptus steam, and some poolside cocktails, they dropped me off at home.

But the fun didn't end there. Later that night, JT and I showed up for what I thought was going to be quiet night at our friends' house only to find a surprise party waiting for me. While the guys hung out at home, the girls whisked me out the door and down the street to Lips, a drag dinner theater in North Park. Much hilarity ensued. I told my friend Laura that she could take pictures so long as they didn't end up on the internet. Of course, here I am now sharing a few with you...but only a few.

I'm not a big fan of tiaras...so they got me a really tiny one!

These shots tasted terrible, by the way.

Come Sunday, we hit the seas with JT's folks for a gorgeous sail around the bay. After all the excitement of the previous day, it was a fantastic way to finish off the weekend.

Now...off to the races! Figuratively, of course, since racing season is over.

Coming into Focus

I'm not a big fan of blog-as-confessional. Generally, I don't think baring your soul on the internet will lead to good things. Just ask that girl from Gawker. But bear with me as this post will be partially personal.

I don't like relinquishing control of anything, and right now, with my sister being sick, there's a major element of my life that I can't control. Both she and I are afraid and worried, and know that it's a possibility that she may not be able to attend the wedding at all, what with planes being major germ incubators. Heck, even a healthy person usually can't set foot on a plane without catching a cold. So needless to say, I'm having a hard time balancing the whole joy about getting married with the worry about my sister. Sometimes it causes me to freak out. So the first part of my blog-as-confessional is to say to anyone who may be or has already been subject to a wedding related freakout, I'm sorry. Just know that I'm trying to cope, and it's not always easy. So if I seem unusually worried about a particular detail, it's just because I'm trying to hold on to whatever it is that I can control.

My whole philosophy as a bride from day one of our engagement was to be the anti-bridezilla. To roll with the punches, not stress on the details, and encourage everyone to just have fun with the whole thing. So descending down this path of stress and worry, I ask myself everyday, "Am I turning into a bridezilla?" My biggest fear is becoming "that" bride, the one that everyone dreads. One of my friends recently shared her thoughts about the whole bridezilla moniker with me. She pointed out that every bride (and groom!), no matter how cool, no matter how grounded, will have moments that freak them out. Stress so bad that it seems to dwarf everything else. And that's OK. Having a momentary freakout is OK, so long as you don't yell at anyone, call them an idiot and make them cry. Which I haven't done, so I think I'm still safe.

Part two of my blog-as-confessional is to a plea to our friends and family that are attending: have a good time. Have a blast. Help me stay true to my original vision of the event. Remember that a wedding is, despite all the emphasis on how it is the "most important" day of our lives, a party. An expensive party, sure, but a party nonetheless. The important part, the marriage, lasts well beyond that day. So along those lines, if you are not able to attend for whatever reason -- you can't get time off work, can't get the kids out of school, it's too much of a financial burden -- that's OK. We understand. And to those of you that can attend and will, we are thrilled and hope to show you a really good time. And I hope that you'll also help remind me of this as well, when I start falling back into the state described above.

So, what will be a part of that really good time? I was hoping that it would include a photo booth. Rather than the traditional guest book, guests would step in front of one of our venues massive chalkboards, write a message to us, stand in front of it, and snap a picture. My initial idea was to have a user-friendly Polaroid 600 camera, so that guests could snap pictures of each other easily. But since the film has been discontinued, it's selling for a lot online, making it too cost prohibitive. My next idea is to use this old-school Laminex camera (pictured above) that I got for free with some Fuji instant film. This camera, however, is NOT user friendly. It's hard to pull the film out of the camera, and then you have to let it sit, peel it apart, and try not to get developer goo on your hands.

We first thought about assigning one of our friends to man the camera, but then didn't want to burden one of our guests by having them be tied to one spot all night instead of enjoying the party. So we're thinking of trying to find someone, a friend of a friend or a student or what have you, that we could bribe with a small sum and a free lunch to do the job. Know anyone that's interested?

Popular Culture No Longer Applies to Me

I promise to return next week with wedding related blog posts, but in the meantime, I'm focusing on that other part of my life that has nothing to do with being a bride: music photography.

This weekend, I'm shooting Street Scene 2009. So for now, here's a snapshot from day one. I guess I am officially old, because I cannot for the life of me figure out why anyone would want to wear this:

But even when I was younger, I had an extreme distaste for American Apparel once they abandoned promoting themselves as "sweatshop free" and decided that it was more important to market themselves as the official outfitters of 70s soft core. That and the fact that every band t-shirt I've bought that was an American Apparel shirt immediately shrank and changed color upon washing. But I digress.

Shooting bands seems to have snapped me out of the funk I've been feeling all week, which is a very, very good thing. Be sure to watch for my upcoming shots on Jambase.

Good Decisions

Here it is -- JT's actual suit! He chose wisely, didn't he? Almost makes you think you're looking at a picture of Justin Timberlake, huh? They do have the same initials, after all...

It's amazing what a difference the little details make, too. The very first time he tried it on, he was wearing it with a t-shirt and no shoes. The second time, he added a dress shirt and shoes from the store. Suddenly, even though it looked good the first time, it now looked much better. Incidentally, when asking for a dress shirt at Ted Baker, I asked for "just a white shirt," something that wouldn't detract from the suit. The salesgirl looked at me baffled and said "this is Ted Baker...we don't have white shirts!" He ended up trying it on with a light green shirt.

Once we got it home, he tried it on with one of his shirts, one of his ties, and his own shoes. And as you can see, it all works wonderfully. Ditto for me and my ensemble. My friend and I had a little dress up session this afternoon now that I have all of my accessories purchased and in hand. Once all the pieces are together, they are so much more powerful than they were individually. Funny, that's kind of how I feel about me and JT.

That's why I think I chose wisely, too.

'Til Tuesday

Hi folks,

I'm off to the other side of the country for a few days, so there won't be much blog posting from me. However, my good friend Laura may contribute a guest blog or two while I'm gone!

In the meantime, please enjoy this photo, courtesy of Aaron Thompson.

In the News

I'm slowly recovering from the mental fog of this week. The crazy thing about timing is that while JT and I have been putting aside a lot of wedding related discussion to focus on what is going on with our families, our wedding plans have been getting much attention online.

I was thrilled to see that our save-the-date cards designed by Inkfancy were featured on Brooklyn Bride this past week!

And I was really touched to see Fight the Fondant discussed on our florist's blog as well.

These little bits of internet appreciation helped with what was a very difficult week, which is why I'm making an effort to return to regular posting more quickly than I thought I would. My posts here are a tiny way of grounding myself each day. I never intended for this blog to be personal*...I meant for it to be a helpful guide for other brides, a demonstration that you can navigate the beach-ceremony-hotel-ballroom-wedding scene that is San Diego in your own unique way.

But over the coming months, you may begin to see more personal aspects creeping in. Particularly about reconciling weddings with difficult family times, trying balance joy and fear, hope and despair. I'll try not to get too off topic and keep up the fun wedding planning tips and stories, but I hope you'll indulge me the occasional philosophical discussion on how to plan a wedding in the midst of pain and turmoil.

Thanks to everyone for the support! More fun things to come soon, I promise.

*If you want to see a truly personal blog about what my family is going through, please visit my sister's blog: bits of myself.

Temporary Hiatus

Hi friends,

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm going to be taking a temporary hiatus (I'm guessing at least a week or two) from this blog. Our families need us right now, so I won't have much time for posting.

Thanks for reading...I hope I won't be away for long.

How Did I Get Here?

What brings me to blog? Frustration. After many years together, by the time my fiance and I started planning our wedding, we had a lot of ideas about what we wanted the event to be like (creative, non-traditional, festive, artsy) and a LOT of ideas about what we didn't want it to be like (conventional, formal, stale, average).

Yet, as we set out for what we thought would be an effortless planning adventure, we became very frustrated very quickly. Why was is so difficult to find a cool venue to host a wedding in San Diego? We turned to the internet for help...and came up short. Want to have your wedding on the beach? How about a reception in a hotel ballroom? How about a hotel on the coast where you can have your ceremony on the beach and your reception in their ballroom? If that's what you're looking for, then San Diego and it's wedding online communities has lots of options for you. Looking for advice about having your reception at a small restaurant, loft, gallery or other unexpected site? Well, there's not much out there to help you plan.

As I read so many other wonderful wedding blogs that are full of info about great venues in New York, Brooklyn, Portland, Seattle or San Francisco, I thought "I wish someone in San Diego would start a great wedding blog!" So, I hope that by sharing my wedding planning journey with you, other unconventional San Diego brides can turn to this blog for inspiration!