The Devil is in the Details

Here are some details from the vintage, bohemian decor that we tried to cultivate, both crafted by professionals and by our own hands. Our goal was to find venues that already had very strong visual elements and atmosphere, and simply play off those. Which we did, and I highly recommend letting your venue steer your decorations. It's much cheaper than starting from scratch trying to create an atmosphere that isn't there at all.

Ring pillow: made by me, based off of a project I saw on OnceWed.com

Flower urns at altar: Che Bella

Flowers above and in fountain: my sister, with a little help from some friends

Drink pitchers*: purchased at Cost Plus and Target. I made the little wooden tags, and my friends helped set them up that morning

Flowers on chairs: Che Bella

Menu: done by Bleu Boheme

Favor cards: designed and printed by Inkfancy. The cards state that in lieu of favors, we gave a donation to Stand Up 2 Cancer. But we did affix some fun little buttons, with design elements from our invitations, to each favor card (ordered from Minepress)

Table scape: Flowers by Che Bella, jars* found by me after scouring Ebay and Craigslist. We found more than 150 jars, but doesn't sound like much, but the whole restaurant was positively overflowing with flowers. The table runners were made by JT's mom with fabric I found on TonicLiving

Images by Aaron Thompson with a couple additions from Spencer Tuck.

*Looking for something similar for your own wedding? I'm selling these!

Turning Lemons Into Lemonade

So you know how everyone has those stories about what went wrong at their wedding? We to do, sort of. There were small things that went wrong on the day-of, but honestly, I didn't even notice most of them (and the ones I did notice, I didn't care about). But there was a last minute planning/design emergency that totally freaked me out. But in the end, it ended up making things even better.

On the Monday before the wedding, my friend Laura and I went to the Marston House around noon (approximately the time that the ceremony would take place on Saturday) to check a few things out. Laura would be helping the rental company set up chairs, tables, etc. on the big day. Plus, I was concerned about the sun -- we had initially planned on facing the house, but I was worried that we might need to adjust based on where the sun would be at that time of day.

And my worries were dead on. Once we got there, I realized that if we faced the house, we'd all be staring directly into the sun. So, last minute change of plans, and we decided to flip the opposite direction and face the fountain. Which meant calling the rental company to adjust the placement of the chairs and coming up with some last minute decorations for the fountain.

I know what you're thinking -- that doesn't sound like a big deal. It wasn't. What was? Because the musicians required a shady spot to sit, I was planning on having them sit under the small roofed structure on the west side of the garden. When we got there that Monday...I saw this:

WTF? A beat-up plastic fence in front of some caution tape? A support pillar about to fall over and crush someone? This was not going to work. Since the property is still technically owned by the city, I know calling them would be useless (when have you ever known the city to fix something non-essential in less than a week?). We rented an umbrella for the musicians to sit under, and began brainstorming options for covering up the deteriorating structure. Some sort of curtain? Attaching swags to the plastic fence that the city put up? Then I found it: the rental company had white lattice panels in their inventory. Three of those covered up the caution tape and plastic fencing perfectly. We chose not to decorate the lattice at all because I figured the less we did to draw attention to it, the less likely it would be that anyone would notice that there was something wrong. And that was exactly the case. I don't think anyone even noticed the panels, let alone that there was something crumbling behind them.

I hope my family doesn't mind me posting this picture of them -- it's the only photo that shows the lattice covering up the damaged structure (in the background). As you can see, it looked just fine.

However, the best part about the last minute changes was the decorations that my sister made for the fountain. From day one, before we even knew the when and where, I was daydreaming of having some sort of hanging floral strings, like these. Upon consulting the florist, we learned that, because it would involve so much labor, these would be really expensive. And I didn't trust my last minute DIY abilities (since you can't make fresh floral elements very far in advance), so I just shelved the idea. But my sister kicked into super-maid-of-honor mode, and after a trip to the wholesale flower shop, she spent the Wednesday before the wedding string these beautiful garlands. We also took some of the leftover flowers and scattered them in the fountain's basin. It look absolutely magical.

And Suddenly You're in Love with Everything

The first photos of our wedding from our totally awesome photographer, Aaron Thompson, are in! Here's a little preview of many more to come.

I'll be posting more along with more details about the reception and great vendors we used, but for the time being, you can see more photos on Aaron's blog.

Ceremony, Part II

JT's sister and brother

We made a lot of budget-friendly decisions, but hiring a string trio probably wouldn't be considered one of them. That said, it was a fantastic decision. Francesca at Caprice Strings was super easy to work with, and having two contemporary songs arranged especially for the ceremony made everything so much more meaningful. As we all took our places to begin walking down the aisle, I was feel good...smiling and excited. Then Caprice Strings began playing Badly Drawn Boy's "The Shining," and by the third note, I couldn't hold back the tears. Walking down the aisle, hearing that song, and seeing all of our friends and family gathered around, I'm pretty sure I was teared up all the way to the altar.

My sister and JT's brother

When I joined JT at the front, David (or friend/officiant) casually said "how you doing?" To which I replied, "I'm already crying!" Interestingly, once we got going, I mostly maintained my composure and was able to get through the rest of the ceremony relatively tear free.

We began with two readings. The first was Corinthians. Neither Jeff nor I practice any religion, but our families do, and this was incorporated to honor them. And to honor my family specifically, it was read by my grandfather in French (did I mention that my family is French?). He began by saying that he would read Corinthians 13 in French, just as it had been read to him and my grandmother at their wedding nearly 60 years ago. People commented all day on how beautiful and moving it was. The next reading was a Native American blessing read by JT's mother, which she picked out. Here, again, the tears started to flow. As she began, she got very choked up, which in turn got everyone else very choked up.

For our vows, JT and I worked on crafting our own based on literature. We reviewed several books of "wedding friendly" literary quotes, selected a few that really spoke to us, and crafted those words into vows that David spoke, having us repeat them to each other. It was absolutely perfect, having our vows say exactly what we wanted to express but exchanged in a traditional way. The vow exchange even prompted a few laughs, as David read off a rather long line, and I got halfway through before stopping and asking him to prompt me. Think of President Obama and Justice Roberts doing the Presidential oath. It was a little like that, and frankly, it was kind of a nice way to lighten the tension.

After exchanging rings and the, as David would say, "ceremonial exchange of cooties," we turned and headed back down the aisle to Caprice Strings playing "Summer is Coming" by Matt Pond PA. Amazing.

A little funny side note from the ceremony: Our adorable flower girls (my sister's daughter and JT's sister's two girls) apparently were having difficulty figuring out how many petals to throw and exactly when to throw them, so when they got up to the end of the aisle, JT's brother-in-law said something to the effect of "make sure you use up all the flowers." So the three of them then stood at the end of the aisle emptying their baskets. I wish I could have seen it, because everyone said it was incredibly cute.

I'm Baaaack...

JT and I made it back from our fabulous honeymoon yesterday evening. We spent today getting reoriented into the regular world -- doing laundry, going to the bank, grocery shopping, all very glamorous stuff. Although we did start out the day by opening our remaining wedding presents. Since we had spent the 20 hours traveling the day before, we fell asleep at 9 p.m. and were up pretty early this morning. Opening presents while having breakfast felt kind of like Christmas.

During the days immediately before and after the wedding, I kept thinking "I should write down notes about all the things I want to remember and share on the blog." And of course, I never did. So I'll try my best to recap what I do remember...which is a lot.

We'll start this evening with a recap of the wedding morning and a bit of the ceremony. Then, in the coming days, I'll share the reception and break down the vendors and their roles as well.

Ceremony, Part I

The morning of the wedding, I woke up promptly a few minutes before the alarm would have gone off. I slept amazingly well -- I had been expecting that I'd be staring at the ceiling all night, too nervous to sleep. Not the case. I felt wonderfully rested. I put on some coffee, set out some bagels for the ladies that would be joining me shortly, and turned on the stereo. At 7:30, my hair stylist, Heather (who has been cutting my hair for the last 5 years), arrived at the house. My sister joined us a bit later, and the makeup artist (Catrina, from Laura Mercier) arrived just as Heather was finishing up. The plan was that I would be done with my makeup at 10:30, slip into my dress and head over to the Marston House at 10:45 to meet JT for our "first look." Remembering the wedding-morning chaos from when I was a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, where everything was running about an hour behind schedule and people were constantly busting into her prep room with questions and problems, I was prepared to be similarly running late. But at 10 a.m., my makeup and hair were done, and my sis and I were hanging out, chatting leisurely and enjoying our quiet morning together.

Aaron arrived at the house to get a few shots just as we were about to get dressed, and after slipping on our gowns, my sister and I headed out into the vintage limo right on time. Here's me arriving at the Marston House (since Aaron's pro photos won't be ready for a bit, I'm sharing with you some of those taken by our friend Spencer):

After I quickly grabbed my bouquet from Carla at Che Bella, Aaron led me down the side of the Marston House to where JT was waiting for me. While our family and friends finished setting up the ceremony site, JT and I sneaked off with Aaron for our portraits. Words cannot describe how much fun this was. Standing with JT in Balboa Park, both of us wearing these fancy outfits that we had selected months ago, just staring in awe at each other while Aaron led us around the park...amazing.

Meanwhile, here's how things were shaping up in the garden. See all the flower strands dangling over the fountain? My sister made all of those! The were a last minute addition, but they added SO much to the beauty of the "altar." I'm so glad that we added them and so grateful to my sister for making them.

Our drink station looked so cute...I'm not sure if people actually drank anything, and I hear that the water pitcher's seal didn't work and eventually it had to be taken down, but it still looked cute.

At 11:30, right on time, we were all ready to get started and took our places around the corner from the garden. Check back tomorrow for the rest of the ceremony recap!

License to Wed

Ever wondered what the process is to get a marriage license in San Diego County? Well, I can tell you!

First, you have to call the County Assessor/Recorder/Clerk's office and make an appointment. Walk-ins are not accepted. They only take appointments between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. Monday through Friday, but we had no trouble getting one for 8 a.m. the next day when I called.

You have to go online to the County's website and download the forms first. When you go to the appointment, you have to bring the completed forms, IDs for both people, and $50 for the fee. Your appointment will go something like this: You'll walk up to the counter, excited, expecting something important to happen. They'll ask you your names, check you off the appointment list, and tell you to take a seat. You'll sit in a gray waiting room, half decorated with white lattice stapled to the wall for that "wedding" look, for 15 minutes.

Then someone will call your names and ask you to take a seat at Window Number X. There, someone will check your IDs, type all of the info from your paperwork into a computer, print it out, have you check it, have a supervisor check it, have you sign on the dotted line, hand over your money, and PRESTO! You now have a marriage license in your hands.

Your wedding must take place and your officiant must complete and return the license has to be completed by your officiant within 90 days of being issued. Regarding the officiant, I learned something interesting in this process. We don't belong to a church, so we didn't want to get married in a church or by a clergy member. So we asked a good friend of ours to officiate. We had known other people who did this, and they had their friends get ordained online (there are several sites that do this -- our friend went through Universal Life Church). However, I discovered that you don't even need to do that. There's a form that you can complete with the County to become a "Deputy Commissioner" for the day, entitling you to perform marriages on that day only. It's just a simple form and a small fee, and any person of your choosing can officiate!

So that's it. Pretty quick and painless. No waiting period, no blood test, just some very light paperwork. It's kind of anticlimactic, the actual process, but seeing that marriage license in your hands is just a little bit thrilling.

There's some tired words that would carry the meaning, but I'm still choking on the first one

In my day job, I do a lot of writing. And public speaking. And writing for other people who will do public speaking. But when it comes to having to write something deeply personal that expresses my love for my husband-to-be publicly (as in vows), that gives me some major writer's block. Actually, you couldn't even call it writer's block because I haven't gotten that far yet. JT is, being a professional journalist and all, and amazing writer (seriously, have you read anything he's written? If not, you should. Blows my mind.). But he also agrees that the idea of trying to write out our very intimate feelings for each other will be difficult.

We don't embrace any religion, so there's no guide post there for us. And I pretty much detest any kind of "traditional" vows because they are at best trite and at worst anti-feminist.

So where's a modern girl to turn for examples of great vows? Seriously, I'm asking you. All suggestions are welcome!

DIY sure, but who sets it up?

My poor blog (and my poor wedding plans!) has been so neglected this past week. Hopefully work will finally calm down next week, and JT and I will be able to buckle down and spend some quality wedding planning time together. Despite the occasional confusions or frustrations, we both are really enjoying this process. Planning a wedding together is really fun.

But on the note of being frustrated and confused...DIY wedding projects. On the on hand, I love the idea of hand crafting decor items so that I can have them exactly they way I want them. Plus, DIY is usually a money saver. I got all jazzed up about DIYing ceremony decorations after seeing this wedding on A Practical Wedding:

How gorgeous are those ribbons? I thought about translating this ribbon tree idea into some kind of branch alter structure, or hanging bunches of these all around the nooks and crannies of the Marston House gardens.

BUT...after I make them all, who hangs them? We can't hang them up the night before - it's a public garden, and we only have it reserved for the morning of ceremony. Who knows how many would fall down or, ahem, "walk off." And obviously I can't put them up that morning because I'll be getting ready. As will my Maid-of-Honor sister and Bridesmaid sister-in-law. Same goes for all the men.

And what about the reception? I love the jars full of flowers that are shown with the table numbers in my previous post, and we could very easily buy jars and loose flowers and fill them, but who sets them up? And who delivers them to the restaurant in the morning? We can't very well ask a small and busy restaurant to hold 200 jars of flowers on a Friday night. Any of you that have DIY'd your wedding and held it somewhere other than your backyard or parents' house but somewhere where you only have a short access window? If so, we'd love your tips!

Ceremony Site: More Marston House Details

I'm so thrilled with our venues. When my sister was here and we took her to see both of them, it just reinforced how much I love them.

I've seen photos of weddings at the Marston House online, but I thought I'd approach how we lay out our ceremony with a completely blank slate. Since my sister had never seen this place before, she was the perfect person to help us figure out the layout without any preconceived notions.

It happened that on the Saturday afternoon that we went by the garden, a wedding had just finished up. Most people set up their chairs facing this wall, using the fountain-turned-planter as their alter. But this particular wedding was set up to face the canyon.

The wall looks pretty bare right now, but in the Fall it is covered in vines and blooms.

This little structure will be perfect for the string trio to sit under (they request that they be provided with shade during outdoor weddings to protect the instruments. Bet you didn't know that!).

We decided that we will break with the set up patterns we have seen before and face the house. It's such a beautiful backdrop, and again, in the Fall, the flower beds right in front will be nearly 4 feet high with blooms.

One of my favorite hidden features about the Marston House garden is the little "waiting room." OK, it's not really a room...it's a gardener's station, but it's enclosed behind a separate wall, which makes it the ideal place for me to hide while guests are getting settled. Then, the bridal party and I can emerge from this door as we begin our march down the aisle!

Good things come in small packages

I spent almost 12 hours at the office on Friday. Towards the end of the day, I called JT to tell him that since I would be home pretty late, I'd like him to pick up dinner. He informed me that he came home to find that there was no power at the house. It was a long week.

So totally worn out, I returned home, thinking about how hungry I was and how much work lay ahead of me for the weekend, but when I got home, not only was the power back on, but I found this sitting on the bed:


There it is - our wedding ceremony permit.

I think we both knew that we wanted to have our ceremony at the Marston House garden in Balboa Park before we knew anything else about when or where our wedding would be. I used to work in Balboa Park, and I've always loved it. It's tucked away in the northwest corner of the park, so there's usually not many people that make the trek up to see it. But once you're there, there are all these great little nooks and crannies...it's beautiful.

For those of you paying very close attention, yes, there is a planter right smack in the middle of the lawn. I've looked around at other blogs, boards, Flickr galleries, etc, to see what other people have done to avoid the planter when creating the aisle, but it seems like everyone pretty much just walks around it. I think we can come up with some more creative way of arranging the seating to make it so that the planter doesn't end up actually being in the aisle. But we'll see.

Ceremony Music for Cool Kids

In case you don't already know, music is a huge part of life for me and JT...especially for him. The illustrious JT is the creator and editor of Treblezine.com and has a solid career as a freelance music journalist (in addition to his day job, which is also in journalism). So needless to say, having cool music at our wedding is uber important.

JT and his brother (also an editor for Treble) were recently tapped to come up with some cool wedding song selections for Inkfancy, the blog of the Seattle-based design and letterpress company of the same name. The timing on this ended up being amazingly appropriate, considering he was asked to contribute right around the time that we go engaged.

You can check out my soon-to-be-brother-in-law's first installment of the feature, ceremony music for cool kids, on Inkfancy right now! JT's contributions, cool songs for the reception, will follow soon after, so stay tuned for that.