Etsy Love: Holly Stalder

Etsy is just about the greatest thing to ever happen to brides. Ever. Have you found yourself browsing the traditional bridal vendors, only to find nothing that strikes your fancy? Or worse yet, finding out that the thing that strikes your fancy is three times what you can afford to pay? Etsy has your answers! Seriously, whether it's fashion accessories, gifts for the wedding party, or decorations for your reception, you can probably find it on Etsy. Or at least find someone to make it for you. Though I love promoting San Diego vendors that are doing a great job, I found some Etsy vendors that positively made my wedding what it was. I plan to spend the next few posts telling you about the many Etsy vendors that I used.

First up: Holly Stalder. I first discovered her designs on Style Me Pretty when I saw this wedding featured (you'll notice that the bride is wearing a Nicole Miller gown -- I also wore Nicole Miller). After browsing her shop online, I knew that I had to have Holly design something for me. I sent her a convo, and we got started. I told her what I liked, what sort of style I was going for, and sent her pictures of me in my gown. She responded with suggestions, sent me some fabric swatches, and the designing began. She checked in along the way, letting me know how the process was going and sending pictures. When the finished product arrived, I was blown away. I couldn't believe how seamlessly it tied my whole outfit together.

Unfortunately, I don't have a great head-to-toe photo of my in the shrug. I started out wearing it at the reception, but got super hot from dancing and ended up having it off for longer than I anticipated. But people raved about how adorable it was.

Photos by Aaron Thompson

Dress You Up in My Love

Alright, after falling off the blogging bandwagon in November and December due to the wedding, honeymoon, and holidays, I'm back and ready to share more details with you. But rather than tell you about the details, I'll show you. Let's start with some fashion nuggets.

The dress is Nicole Miller, a wonderful designer for brides that are not interested in spending $3,000 on a gown, but still want to look fashion forward.
The shoes are Belle by Sigerson Morrison, amazingly found on sale at Piperlime.
The purse? That's a fantastic find that my sister picked up at a church yard sale! I couldn't believe the luck at how well it matched the shoes. The little broach and ribbon were additions courtesy of Holly Stalder, who made the broach to match the custom shrug I ordered from her, shown below.

The bridesmaids dresses were the ever popular J. Crew. I thought the ladies looked gorgeous! The men wore their own suits with ties from Toybreaker. The flower girls from JT's side of the family wore their own dresses with green sashes made by JT's mom. My niece wore a dress from SweetPlume, and my sister made her own fabulous feather hairband.

The feather hairpiece was made by Portobello -- I got so many compliments on it! And the earrings? Another great random find at Macy's for only $30!

All images by Aaron Thompson.

Frock the Casbah

The attire for the wedding party ladies was finally wrapped up today. I know most people get that taken care of right off the bat, but we like to do things a little differently here at Casa Fight the Fondant. Well, putting off getting the dresses for the ladies wasn't really something that anyone wanted to do -- it mostly got sidetracked because of cancer. But things are going swimmingly at the moment, and while we had a loose idea of what all the ladies would be wearing, we finalized everything today. Woo hoo!

The adult ladies were asked to choose a J Crew dress in "Bright Alpine" taffeta. JT's sister, my bridesmaid, chose the Clementine. It looks fab on her!

My sister and matron of honor chose the Lorelei. I love that they chose two different styles because at first I thought they'd end up picking the same dress (not that that would have been bad, but different is fun).

A quick note for anyone thinking of getting J Crew bridesmaids dresses having only seen them online: order some fabric swatches! Initially, from browsing online, I liked the "Clover" green, which is available in cotton and chiffon. I thought the Bright Alpine looked too foresty. But the pictures above are not really accurate. In person, and especially in the sun, the Alpine looks much closer to the moss green that I am basing our wedding decor on. And the Clover looked downright lime!

Interestingly, the hardest part about dressing the ladies of the bridal party has been coming up with something for the youngest ladies, the flower girls, to wear (and there's 3 flower girls!). Finding something that is cute, affordable, and fits in the color scheme is practically impossible. JT's sister found some great green dresses, but they ended up being much too dark when placed next to the J Crew dresses, and it looked off. My sis found a dress that her daughter would enjoy wearing, but since JT's sis's girls are a bit older, it wasn't really up their alley. The solution? Let everyone's girls just be themselves! JT's sister's girls are wearing white dresses they had from a previous wedding updated with adorable green sashes courtesy of JT's mom. It's budget friendly, and the girls will be comfortable, which is what's most important. My sis's daughter is going with this creation by Etsy vendor Sweet Plume:

Though the three girls won't be wearing exactly the same thing, I think they will all complement each other perfectly. It's amazing to see these things coming together, because I'm continually surprised at how what seemed imperfect at first (like not having a handle on what all the girls were wearing) now feels absolutely perfect.

Gown Secrets: Ordering and Alterations

OK, believe it or not, my wedding gown in hanging in our guest bedroom as I type this! That's right, I've already got my gown in hand. We haven't registered yet, sent out save-the-dates, or booked our florist, but I have a gown.

So let's take a look at a couple of gown shopping myths. #1: You need to order your gown at least 6 months in advance. While I can't say that this is completely false, it's definitely an exageration. I was under this impression, and clearly, it was not necessary. I started looking pretty much as soon as I knew the "when" and "where" of the wedding, around the beginning of March. I went to a LOT of stores, and tried on probably close to 50 gowns. I know that I am an indecisive shopper, and I knew that simply deciding on which dress would take some time, which it did. It took a good month of shopping to feel like I was comfortable with my decision. But once I placed the order, which was early April, it took about a month from the time I placed my order until the dress arrived at the shop. Obviously, it will vary from designer to designer, but you don't need to feel panicked when you hear/read from "reputable" sources that if you haven't ordered your dress a year in advance, your ruined.

Myth #2: You need to order your dress too big so that it can be altered to fit you perfectly. I think that this myth is the result of bridal salons that have in-house alterations and can get more money out of you by getting you to spend unnecessary amounts on excessive alterations. I had someone in the biz tell me this. When I got measured, they told me that I was one size on the top and a larger size on the bottom (I do not think this is unusual for most women), so I should order the larger size. I said that based on the cut of the dress, I thought the smaller size would work. I asked them to consult with the designer. The designer agreed, the smaller size was ordered, and today, when I tried on the gown, it fit (nearly) like a glove. Yes, I will probably get some minor alterations done to make it fit perfectly, but I could easily wear it as it is now. And the shop that I purchased from actually doesn't do in-house alterations, so they didn't really have anything to gain by putting me in a dress that was too big. Plus, now I can use whomever I want to do the alterations, and hopefully get them done without too much expense.

I have so many pictures of my gown purchasing trips, but I can't show them to you yet because I can't risk JT seeing them on the blog! So you'll all just have to wait patiently until after the wedding for my recap.

THE Gown

I've decided...!

That's all!

I can't tell you on this blog for risk the JT will see, so if you are dying to know, email me.

Gown Shopping II, Electric Boogaloo

So with my sister in town this week, I have been taking her back to some of the dress shopping locations to see my favorites and help me come to some sort of decision. Revisiting each place has been great -- much better than the first time around. We've uncovered some great nuggets of awesomeness at each stop so far. We revisited Nicole Miller, and were pleasantly surprised to find out that 1. the discountinued gown was not yet sold out, and 2. the gown below comes in a new color! It's called "latte," and it's very similar to this color but a little less pink and a bit closer to ivory.

On our revisting of the White Dress, we had a very interesting experience. The three that I had tried on before, all got thrown out of contention. My sister convinced me to try on a Reva Mivasagar dress "just for fun," because it looked so cool hanging on the rack...little did we expect that it would look so great! Once again, as with the previous dresses I posted about from the White Dress, the picture is not a good representation. The fabric has lots of delicate embroidery and lace detail. It was fabulous.

Going back to all these places is definitely helping me narrow things down. I have a clear frontrunner at this point...should I tell you? JT doesn't want to know what gown I pick -- do you? Or would you all like to be surprised when the big day arrives?

The White Dress, and an Identity Crisis

This Sunday I decided that I am done with gown shopping. I have looked at too many gowns at this point. So many that my judgment about which ones I've liked best is becoming very clouded.

JT and I went to the White Dress in Corona Del Mar. This was by far the most traditional dress shopping experience of the bunch. There were lots of gorgeous dresses that you would expect to see at a wedding salon. And lots of very sweet, helpful sales people gushing all over me, telling me how amazing I looked. I chose to visit this salon because they were having a Vineyard Collection trunk show, and I was curious to see this collection because it's relatively affordably priced (keep in mind "relatively"). I tried on a LOT of dresses. But it was narrowed down to three. Of course, since this was one of those "traditional" shops, I couldn't take any pictures. We'll have to rely on the designers pictures, which truthfully do not do these dresses justice. They looked much better in person.

This is "Hayden" from the Vineyard Collection. Honestly, I think it looked better on me than it does here, because of how the light is reflecting on the fabric. But it looked very sexy and glam, and was really flattering to my figure.

The next one is by Anne Barge. I hesitated to try it on, because the silhouette is so "bridal," but the details are so cute. It's hard to tell from the photo, but the bust line has all these intricate pin tucks. Plus the dress has pockets!

Everyone in the store was wowed at how great it looked on me, myself included. I never would have thought that I'd like something like this...but I did. A lot. It was playful and fashionable. I think I was 30 seconds away from buying it. But then they stuck a veil on me, and suddenly I was a bride. This should be a good thing, right? Something just felt off. Here I am, championing the consignment shop, the budget friendly alternatives, the bohemian "non-bridal" dresses...am I really going to end up wearing a white, A-line strapless with a veil? From a bridal boutique?

We tried on one more gown. No one in the store thought I would like it as much as the previous two, but I actually loved it equally. Perhaps because it was closer to what I had imagined myself wearing from day one. This is "Britta" by Melissa Sweet.

Again, the photos do not do it justice because what makes this dress so special is the delicate floral beading on the chiffon, which just doesn't show up in the photo. But, I think this is actually out of my price range.

So, my dear readers, I implore you to leave your feedback. Do I stay true to my original vision of being the offbeat, hippie bride that I am, or do I embrace the brideyness for all it's worth?

Hooray for Dream Bridal LA

Alright, once again, I feel a little guilty for recommending an LA vendor, but we just don't have anyone doing this in San Diego*.

Dream Bridal is a shop specializing in selling sample and gently worn designer gowns for significantly less than you would buy them in a boutique. It's primarily an internet based business, so actually not even technically a "shop;" however, Britta, the remarkable woman behind this business, allows brides to come to her home to view and try on the dresses. I love this, because unless you just can't go on the photos when it comes to wedding gowns. Doesn't matter what it looks like on the model, or mannequin or another bride...you really have to see what it looks like on you.

I tried on 4 dresses, but I'm just going to show you the top 2. You know from this post that I love Jenny Packham. This has been on of my favorites of her designs, so I was pleased to find it here at a reasonable price, and more pleased that it looked good on me.

That's the fabulous Britta behind me holding the dress tight, since it was, of course, a bit too big. I felt very comfortable in this dress -- I feel like it's very "me." Here's Britta's photo of it, so you can see the detail a bit better.

The next one is another Claire Pettibone. When I saw this gown online, I thought it was beautiful, but worried it wouldn't look good on me. I'm glad I was wrong.

What's really amazing about this gown is the detail. It's hard to see in the dark photo that JT took, but there's so many delicate details, and I just LOVE how unique this dress is. You'll never see another bride in a dress like this...how gorgeous is the back?? Here's Britta's photo so that you can see some the detail work more clearly.

I would absolutely recommend checking out Dream Bridal if you're looking for a designer gown at a significant savings....just don't buy either of these two gowns until I've made up my mind!

*There is technically a similar business based in San Diego called Bride Couture, but I haven't found any of the designers that I like on their website, which is why I have not visited them. But check them out -- they might have something you like.

Creative Attire Ideas

One of my potential money saving ideas when it comes to my wedding ensemble is to take a fairly simple gown and dress it up, making the accessories the star. This weekend, I'm planning on checking out the Jenny Yoo "wedding alternatives" collection. An alternative to spending $3,000? I'll take it! Here are a few of the simple but cute designs in the collection, all for less than $1,200:

And how cute would one of these dresses look paired with one of these fantastic shrugs? The jackets below are from Etsy sellers Bonzie (left) and English Dept. (right)

I Heart Glamour Closet

After the high-end retail boutique, JT and I headed off for a completely different kind of shopping experience. Glamour Closet is a shop in West Hollywood that sells designer samples. I really, really wish that something like this existed in San Diego, so that I wouldn't have to tell like-minded brides to trek up to LA, but it's totally worth the trek. I was amazed by which designers they had in stock and the condition of each gown (most were practically brand new -- there was only one that I tried on that had visible damage, and it could be easily repaired). Plus, the staff was so incredibly helpful! Once you arrive, they give you ribbons to mark which gown you want to try on. Then, they let you browse on your own, at your own pace. You select the gowns, and they bring them to the dressing rooms where they help you try them on.

For the first gown, I'm sorry to say that I didn't write down who the designer was. That's because even though it's a gorgeous gown, I didn't think it was right for our bohemian garden wedding. Too formal. But a great find for someone else.

Next, Reem Acra. This is a gown that retails for about 5K that they are are selling for nearly 50% off.

I was so excited to see that Glamour Closet had Jenny Packham gowns! I adore her designs, but figured I'd never be able to afford them. The retail on these that I tried on is between $3,500 and $5,000, but were being sold here for only about $2,000. Here is the "Swoon" gown.

As you can see, very daring. I love how the shape looks on me, but I'm worried that it's a bit TOO daring.

Here's is the Jenny Packham "Anne." I think this was JT's favorite of the day.

I almost wish I hadn't found so many great gowns...it's just making the decision so much harder!
One more gown I'd like to share is by Elizabeth Fillmore. I love how avant garde it is. What doesn't translate well in the pictures is the bottom of the dress. It's adorned with these rough lace strips. Super cool. I wish it looked a little better on me.

So, now's your time to weigh in. What are your favorites from this trip?

Planet Claire

OK, the Claire Pettibone shopping experience certainly was an interesting one...in some ways, exactly what I expected. In others, a complete surprise.

One thing that surprised me was how disappointing most of the gowns were in person. I expect gowns that look great on runway models won't always look great on me, but shouldn't they at least look good on the hanger? The poor sample gowns looked like they had been through some serious abuse. And much of the ivory dresses looked almost yellow.

It was kind of refreshing that I didn't fall madly in love with a $5,000 gown that I know I couldn't afford. All of the ones I tried on were pretty underwhelming...except one: the Demetra. It looked FAB. Here's a photo of it from the Dream Bridal website, a source that sells samples and gently used designer gowns.


What has been the most surprising about gown shopping is that oftern what looked underwhelming when I was browsing collections online has ended up looking great on me, and vice versa. What was not surprising when shopping at this particular venue was the "these gowns sell themselves" attitude that came along with the experience. Not that anyone was rude, but no one was going out of their way to help me by any stretch. And of course, there's no actual photo of me in the Demetra gown because they wouldn't let me take one.*

*Side note: I really don't understand why the "high end" designers won't let you take photos in their salons. If you really were going to "copy" one of their designs, couldn't you just as easily use the photos of their websites? Wouldn't allowing brides to photograph themselves in the dress make most brides more likely to purchase from that salon? OK, rant over.
If I do choose this gown in the end, I will probably be purchasing it used/sample/whatever to save some money.

Gown shopping, round 2

After the laid-back shopping experience at Nicole Miller, I'm heading out for what will likely be a very different experience at the Claire Pettibone boutique in Beverly Hills. I totally love Claire's designs and know that I can't afford 90% of them. However, I'm hoping that one or two of the dresses that are on the low end of their collection will work for me. Here are some possibilities:

This one is a little above what my max price range is, but it's so beautiful, I think I'll have to try it on.

I'm sure most people would advise me that I shouldn't even try on dresses that I know I can't afford, because I'd just be torturing myself. But I have a secret trick up my sleeves: I plan on seeking out these same gowns through consignment shops that specialize in buying up designer samples (More on that in future posts)!

I Heart Nicole

Nicole Miller ended up being a fantastic place to start off my gown search. Despite all my fears of pushy sales people and wannabe-princess gowns, I was pleasantly surprised to find an extremely helpful staff and several gowns that were cool, looked good on me, and were affordable (I think the highest price for any of the gowns I tried on was $1800).

I had, of course, studied the Nicole Miller collection online, so I had an idea of which ones I wanted to try on. Gown #1 didn't impress me that much in the catalogue, but when I tried it on, I thought it looked great (JT agreed).

Gown #2 was also a great gown, but didn't quite feel as much like "me" as #1.

Gown #3 was surprising. I love the look of a mermaid cut, but always thought that it wasn't the most flattering to my figure. But the extremely helpful sales associate, Marissa, suggested that I give it a try, and I was surprised at how good it looked.

Gown #4: Don't let the fact that I'm not smiling in the photo fool you...I LOVE this gown (I think I just didn't realize that the shutter was firing at that exact moment).

This one was my favorite going into the appointment. I think that the photo sells it a bit short, and here's why: this particular gown was actually 2 sizes too big, so I don't think that it was quite "settling" right in the way that it would have if it had been the correct size. And there's one big problem -- this gown has actually been discontinued. Which means that I can only choose from the sizes that they currently have in stock, since they won't be making any more. And, of course, they no longer have my actual size. So, if I wanted to buy this gown, I would either have to buy one size smaller and have it let out or two sizes bigger and have it taken in (Marissa suggested that the first would probably work better, because 2 sizes down is a lot of fabric to remove). Kind of a bummer. I'm hoping that after weeks of shopping at other places, I won't decide that this was my favorite only to find out that they've sold out completely.

All in all, I tried on way more gowns than are seen here (I only took photos of the ones I thought looked best). Marissa was so great bringing me gown after gown and not minding at all that we wanted to take pictures of so many of them. Bonus points to Nicole Miler for the awesome staff!

Things That Scare Me

I'm kind of terrified by the idea of dress shopping. Being swallowed alive by some tulle monstrousity that a sales girl convinced you to try on? Clingy white fabrics showing off every day I skipped the gym? Spending hours in bridal salons without finding anything that feels like "me"? Or worse, falling in love with a gorgeous dress only to find out it costs twice what I can afford to pay? All frightening scenarios.

I have my first gown shopping appointment this weekend at the Nicole Miller boutique in La Jolla. I have high hopes, for two reasons. First, their bridal line is very affordable (I don't think anything is priced above $2,000). Second, their collection has a lot of dresses that I don't think look like your typical wedding gown (as my sister can tell you, I'm also afraid of looking too "bridey"). I plan on checking these out at my appointment:

And my favorite of the collection:

Since it's a small boutique, I'm hoping it will be a good first dress shopping experience and a way of easing me into the bigger salons that I'll be visiting later this month. And despite my nerves about the experience, I am excited to see these dresses in person.

Oh, and another thing...I plan on bringing JT with me to go gown shopping. Most people find this VERY odd when I tell them that. But I just can't imagine making such a huge purchase without his input. After all, I'm gonna help him pick out his suit, so why shouldn't he help me pick out my dress? What are your thoughts on the idea?