The Devil is in the Details

Here are some details from the vintage, bohemian decor that we tried to cultivate, both crafted by professionals and by our own hands. Our goal was to find venues that already had very strong visual elements and atmosphere, and simply play off those. Which we did, and I highly recommend letting your venue steer your decorations. It's much cheaper than starting from scratch trying to create an atmosphere that isn't there at all.

Ring pillow: made by me, based off of a project I saw on OnceWed.com

Flower urns at altar: Che Bella

Flowers above and in fountain: my sister, with a little help from some friends

Drink pitchers*: purchased at Cost Plus and Target. I made the little wooden tags, and my friends helped set them up that morning

Flowers on chairs: Che Bella

Menu: done by Bleu Boheme

Favor cards: designed and printed by Inkfancy. The cards state that in lieu of favors, we gave a donation to Stand Up 2 Cancer. But we did affix some fun little buttons, with design elements from our invitations, to each favor card (ordered from Minepress)

Table scape: Flowers by Che Bella, jars* found by me after scouring Ebay and Craigslist. We found more than 150 jars, but doesn't sound like much, but the whole restaurant was positively overflowing with flowers. The table runners were made by JT's mom with fabric I found on TonicLiving

Images by Aaron Thompson with a couple additions from Spencer Tuck.

*Looking for something similar for your own wedding? I'm selling these!

Vendor Recap: Ipod DJ

Because so many things happened at the reception, I didn't think a play-by-play would work as it did for the ceremony. Rather, I'll be going item by item, or vendor by vendor. And I've been reluctant to start doing any more recaps until I get the "official" photos back, because I figure that if I'm going to be describing the details of the event, those descriptions should be accompanied by photos.

So I figured I'd kick off more recaps by talking about something that will not be aided by any photos: reception music.

Back when we started planning, we knew we would not be hiring someone to play music at our wedding. From day one of the engagement, we had a giant sheet of butcher paper hanging up our kitchen where we could jot down notes about which songs we would like to play at the party. We spent months adding to the list, JT sequenced and edited them on Itunes (equalizing the volume on each song, making sure all transitions between songs flowed, etc.), and then we loaded the two playlists (one that comprised the cocktail hour and lunch, and one for dancing) onto two Ipods (his, plus his brother's as a back-up in case something went wrong).

A few weeks before the wedding, JT sent me this link in an email:
http://www.adja.org/general/ipodwedding.asp

I thought it was so freaking funny that I made a note that I wanted to go back and blog about it after the wedding. I wanted to wait until after the wedding just so that I could be certain that having an Ipod as our DJ did not, in fact, ruin our wedding. And it didn't. That said, it didn't go perfectly.

There was basically one real problem with the Ipod DJ set up: the restaurant's speakers weren't capable of playing the music loud enough for every song to be heard over our friends and family that were boisterously, and loudly, enjoying themselves. I find it funny that they have music playing every night over hundreds of diners, yet our two families together were louder than all of that. And the soundsystem, which our Ipod was plugged directly into, carried throughout the entire restaurant except for the one corner that we had chosen as the dance floor. This was clearly our bad. This could have been easily rectified with a rented PA system. We just didn't think we'd need it. It really wasn't a big deal though -- most of the songs were heard reasonably clearly.

As far as the cues go, the above video would lead you to believe that a missed cue is the end of the entire world. Believe me, it's not. When we were getting ready to do our first dance, we announced it to our guests and hit 'play' on the dance playlist. The first song was actually a buffer song, meant to give the guests enough time to get up from the dining room and make their way to the dance floor. It ended up being more time than we needed, and we spent a minute or so just waiting for the song to end so we could start our first dance. This was NOT a problem. In fact, it was kind of cute, because some of our guests starting "counting down" to the start of our first dance.

The best part about the Ipod DJ set up is that you have complete creative control. If you want something louder, you can turn it up. If you want to play something again, you can. If you want to pause for toasts, you can. And since you created the playlist and know what's on it, you can use certain songs to cue your activities, so you know that when Ed Harcourt* comes on, it's time to cut the cake without even having to check your watch.

In summary, having an Ipod as my DJ did not, as the video would warn, ruin my wedding. Frankly, paying some cheesy DJ play a song that a family member requested even though I specifically didn't want to hear it would have ruined my wedding. Having to listen to his inane babble in between songs ("this one's for all the laaaddiieees...") would have ruined my wedding. And having to pay someone hundreds of dollars for that would have made it even worse.

*Yes, I will post the whole playlist in the coming days. I know you are dying to know!

Ready for the first dance?

JT and I are ready for ours...well, almost! We've been practicing, and it's getting pretty good. A few more times, and we'll have our first dance down cold.

If you're thinking of learning to dance for your wedding (or for anyone else's), I've got a great tip for you: UCSD recreation classes. Ballroom dance lessons have never been cheap. And I imagine with the popularity of shows like Dancing with the Stars, ballroom studios are probably taking the opportunity to clean up. JT and I had sporadically taken dance lessons in the past. A waltz lesson with our friends when they were getting married, a few tango classes just for kicks. I remembered how expensive those tango classes were -- about $10 per person, per lesson. When JT and I talked about taking more serious lessons for the wedding, I started searching. All the ballroom studios charged at least as much as we had paid previously, some even $12 per person per class. And that was just for the group classes. Plenty of studios are touting their "wedding package" that includes a few private lessons for a few hundred dollars.

So I cranked up my internet sleuthing and found a few free and low cost options. The Balboa Park Dancers offer low cost lessons, and the Vintage Social Dancers offer free lessons in the park as well. The problem with these classes, though, was that classes are usually once a month (not great if you are a beginner and need more regular practice) and are taught by volunteers. No offense to the volunteers, but their instruction wasn't really cutting it for us. Then, by total accident, I stumbled across the UCSD recreation class schedule, and the answer was staring me right in the face: Beginning Ballroom Dance for Couples.

The beauty of this class is that it's taught by a professional dancer and there's no partner switching. Ideal for wedding couples. Also, the class focuses on a different style each week. You'll start out learning East Coast Swing one week, then salsa the next week and foxtrot the week after that. Sounds like a lot to take in, but we found that the more styles we learned, the easier it was to pick up on new ones. And the best part is the price: the sign up fee is $42 per person (if you are a UCSD student, only $32). For 8 weeks of classes, that comes out to about $5 per person. Half the price of a studio, but with the same caliber of instruction!

*Photo by Aaron Thompson

Working through the Weekend

What better day to spend Labor Day weekend than, well, laboring. That was pretty much exactly how the last three days have been spent. We knocked out a lot of crafts and tackled a lot on the to-do list. It was pretty darn productive, and frankly, I'm feeling a lot better about what's left to be done. There are still a few big unknowns, but I've got my head around the next 8 weeks pretty well at this point (that's right, we're just shy of hitting the 8-weeks-out mark!)

My friend Laura came over to help me tackle several craft projects, including our escort card tree and flower girl baskets. She and I spent the afternoon cutting, hot gluing, arranging, stringing, and any other craft related verb you can think of. Her keen eye and advanced crafting ability made everything about 100 times better than I could have done alone. Here's the tree she expertly arranged, complete with a little owl that she found for me at Michael's.

I made the leaves. They aren't quite as impressive, but they'll serve as the escort/place cards (whichever you prefer to call them), with the guest's name on one side and their table number on the back.

Next, she set out crafting our flower girl baskets, which look insanely adorable. Plus, with the moss, they perfectly match the ring pillow I made.

The next day, JT and I headed up to his mom's house. There, we went through every single thing on the giant wedding task list, up to the day-of. She amazingly volunteered to take on several projects, which I could not be happier about. There are very few people that I would find more trustworthy than her to help pull off the wedding details.

So while Thanksgiving maybe still be nearly 3 months away, I'm feeling pretty thankful for these wonderful women in my life that are helping me keep it together. Kudos to you, ladies!

She's Crafty*

Let the DIY race officially begin! Last week, I made the ring pillow, based off of this one I found on Once Wed. The problem with me and DIY is that I'm a pretty harsh critic of my own work, so I'm rarely satisfied with anything I make. I think it looks OK...not great, but OK.

I also started our escort card tree, based off of this one that I originally saw on Style Me Pretty.

First, I hit up a major chain craft store for supplies. Then I headed over to San Diego's wholesale flower market, and found the supplies I needed for MUCH cheaper.

This coming weekend, I'll be visiting my mother-in-law-to-be. She generously offered to help me sew the table runners. Here's the fabric we'll be using, nestled alongside the 150 mason jars currently residing in our guest bedroom.

I've also enlisted a friend to make the flower girl baskets, plus there's still the photo booth supplies, guest welcome baskets, and a banner for the rehearsal dinner. And I'm sure I'm forgetting something else...so much to do, so few hours in each day!

*You may be upset to learn that, for the record, I don't really like the Beastie Boys. Sorry.

Ring Around the Budget

As I've hinted in the past couple of posts, we've had some unexpected and major expenses crop up lately, and we've been looking for areas to trim from the budget. One area that JT brilliantly saw that could be downsized was his ring. I had been anticipating that he would want a plain brushed platinum band. Simple, classic, and...expensive. But after doing a bit of research, JT found two other metal options that he really likes that also happen to be much cheaper than platinum: titanium and palladium.

Palladium is in the platinum family, so it's similar in hardness, color, etc. But it's not quite the darling of the jewelry industry the way that its sister metal is, so it's more cost effective. JT found this ring by DragonsBreath on Etsy that he really likes:

I really like it, too. I love the natural look of the hammered finish.

Titanium is an even more affordable option. It looks very "manly," so it's become quite popular in men's rings, and it's not hard to find titanium rings at major jewelry retailers these days. The downside to titanium is that it's so strong, it can't be resized once it's cast. So if JT gains or loses any weight, he'd have to get a new ring. But, as he put it, the cost of a titanium ring is so cheap, that it wouldn't be a very big deal to get it replaced. These two are from TitaniumKnights:

Both great, and at less than $100 each, he's right -- it wouldn't be a big deal to replace it if in a few years it no longer fit. Though that does seem slightly unsentimental, but is sentiment worth the extra money? Sometimes you just have to be practical. I won't love him any less with an inexpensive ring.

Basket Case

With some big financial issues springing up this week (man, I wish I didn't own a car!), we've been looking at ways to trim the wedding budget. Not that I think our budget is heavy on splurges, but there are a couple, so anything we can trim, we will.

One thing that came to mind was flower girl baskets. We've got three flower girls, and rather than having the florist do them, it would save us a bit of cash to buy and fill them ourselves.

In case you haven't picked up on it yet from my other blog posts, I seriously think that Etsy is the greatest thing to ever happen to wedding planning. Check out these adorable baskets, all handmade and all at reasonable prices to boot.

I'm loving this birch one from NHWoodscreations. I love how natural it looks. Nothing like those white shellacked ones that are the standard wedding fare.

This one from Yandebridal is adorable too! I'm a complete sucker for cute woodland creatures.

Guest Blog: Laura and the Great Venue Search

I'm still across the coast, in the state that they claim is for lovers, so for today's post, I'm very pleased to welcome guest blogger Laura! Laura is a good friend who recently got engaged and is just starting to begin planning her wedding. I hope having another bride's perspective on the process will be helpful and entertaining!

For my fiance and me, one of the first steps in planning our wedding is finding a great venue. We really want to pick a spot that had a lot of personal meaning for us. We're also not religious, and since that means we won't be having a church ceremony, we wanted to find a place where we could hold the ceremony and reception in the same area.

My first venue idea was a local organization I'd contacted earlier in the year for a birthday party rental. While the birthday party didn't end up taking place there, I still had their price list and was excited to set up a meeting with their event staff. When I contacted the event coordinator, however, I was given a whole new price list, the special "wedding" price list. Basically, because the event was now a wedding, their venue rental went up by 30% along with other misc. charges. Sadly, the price increase didn't come with any new perks either. I have to admit I was tempted to say it was a birthday party and I'd just happen to be wearing a white dress ;)

For some couples, the idea of paying extra to hold their wedding in a meaningful place might be just fine. For my fiance and me, however, we opted not to. We're leaning toward another local venue that has a flat fee for birthdays, company parties, and weddings.

Here are some of the resources for cost-savvy SD venues that we've been using:

- The City of San Diego website. They have this wonderful list of parks and other public areas that are popular for wedding sites: of parks and recreation areas. Best of all? They’re super cheap.

-The Balboa Park website. It’s not as detailed, but still gives some good ideas. The site also lists all the museums/venues in Balboa Park, and you can contact the venues individually for their rental options.

Check back soon for Laura's summary of the San Diego Bridal Bazaar (with pictures)!

Details, Deposits, and DIY

With less than four months to go, we are spending a lot of time buckling down on details. I've been flooded with fabric swatches lately -- for the bridesmaids dresses, for the table runners, for the ceremony accessories. Of course no two greens could ever match, right?

Speaking of table runners, that bring me to another point: DIYing stuff. Earlier I posted my concern about DIYing, specifically who can set up all your DIY stuff when you are getting ready. Friends and family have generously stepped forward to handle things. My buddy Laura will be setting up the beverage service at the ceremony (not sure she knows the extent of that yet!). My sister-in-law to-be has offered her help sitting up items at the reception, as has my florist.

One thing that we are not DIYing is setting up the ceremony chairs and tables. When I started getting quotes for the rental items, I asked how much more it would cost to have them set up by each company. The cost was usually minimal, 40 cents per chair, one dollar per table. Oh wait, you want your tables and chairs delivered? Well, that's gonna cost you. Oh, and you want them delivered and picked up at a specific time? That's gonna cost you even more! But ultimately we decided it was worth the couple of hundred dollars to have the piece of mind of not worrying how to schlep 80 chairs down from a rental warehouse the day before the wedding.

What will not be worth the extra cost? Having the table runners sewn for me. The quote that I got was more than three times the cost of the fabric itself, for sewing a very simple item. That one will definitely be DIY, even if my sewing machine isn't that good.

Finally, we just confirmed that we will be having our rehearsal dinner at The Linkery -- yay! I need to get them a deposit check, so I'm off to take care of that now.

Send Me Your Jars!

That's right, it's more than a blog post -- it's a call to action. I need to collect as many mason jars as possible for the floral arrangements. I'll continue to troll Ebay, Craigslist, thrift shops and garage sales, but if you happen to be reading this and thinking "hey, I've got a bunch of old jars that I don't need," I'd be happy to put them to good use.

They don't even need to be mason jars, per se. Any cool, old-looking clear glass vessel will do. And it doesn't matter if it has writing on it either, so long as the writing is either in green, brown or yellow. If you happen to have anything to contribute to the cause, please drop me a line!

Unique Hair Accessories from Be Something New

I am addicted to searching out cool hair accessories on Etsy. I could spend days on there...in fact, I have.

Today's find is Be Something New. Their collection of headbands is absolutely gorgeous. They would be perfect for completing a wedding ensemble, but could also be worked into your everyday wardrobe.

I love the messy structure of the ribbon headband. And marigold colored feathers? You know I'm all over that one.

With many of their items falling in the $25-40 dollar range, the prices can't be beat!

Internet Find: Tonic Living for Fabrics

Using large blocks of colorful fabric can be a great way to create a bold decor statement without spending a small fortune. I've been searching for unique fabrics in shades of green, marigold and brown. Making either table runners or a backdrop for a photo booth area are both on my list of possible DIY decor ideas.

Today, I discovered an amazing internet fabric vendor, Tonic Living! Check out some of these gorgeous designs in my color family:

Tonic Living is based in Toronto, Ontario, but don't fear -- they ship internationally. And, they even have a custom sewing service, which included table runners for weddings! How do ya like that?

Gown Secrets: Ordering and Alterations

OK, believe it or not, my wedding gown in hanging in our guest bedroom as I type this! That's right, I've already got my gown in hand. We haven't registered yet, sent out save-the-dates, or booked our florist, but I have a gown.

So let's take a look at a couple of gown shopping myths. #1: You need to order your gown at least 6 months in advance. While I can't say that this is completely false, it's definitely an exageration. I was under this impression, and clearly, it was not necessary. I started looking pretty much as soon as I knew the "when" and "where" of the wedding, around the beginning of March. I went to a LOT of stores, and tried on probably close to 50 gowns. I know that I am an indecisive shopper, and I knew that simply deciding on which dress would take some time, which it did. It took a good month of shopping to feel like I was comfortable with my decision. But once I placed the order, which was early April, it took about a month from the time I placed my order until the dress arrived at the shop. Obviously, it will vary from designer to designer, but you don't need to feel panicked when you hear/read from "reputable" sources that if you haven't ordered your dress a year in advance, your ruined.

Myth #2: You need to order your dress too big so that it can be altered to fit you perfectly. I think that this myth is the result of bridal salons that have in-house alterations and can get more money out of you by getting you to spend unnecessary amounts on excessive alterations. I had someone in the biz tell me this. When I got measured, they told me that I was one size on the top and a larger size on the bottom (I do not think this is unusual for most women), so I should order the larger size. I said that based on the cut of the dress, I thought the smaller size would work. I asked them to consult with the designer. The designer agreed, the smaller size was ordered, and today, when I tried on the gown, it fit (nearly) like a glove. Yes, I will probably get some minor alterations done to make it fit perfectly, but I could easily wear it as it is now. And the shop that I purchased from actually doesn't do in-house alterations, so they didn't really have anything to gain by putting me in a dress that was too big. Plus, now I can use whomever I want to do the alterations, and hopefully get them done without too much expense.

I have so many pictures of my gown purchasing trips, but I can't show them to you yet because I can't risk JT seeing them on the blog! So you'll all just have to wait patiently until after the wedding for my recap.

DIY sure, but who sets it up?

My poor blog (and my poor wedding plans!) has been so neglected this past week. Hopefully work will finally calm down next week, and JT and I will be able to buckle down and spend some quality wedding planning time together. Despite the occasional confusions or frustrations, we both are really enjoying this process. Planning a wedding together is really fun.

But on the note of being frustrated and confused...DIY wedding projects. On the on hand, I love the idea of hand crafting decor items so that I can have them exactly they way I want them. Plus, DIY is usually a money saver. I got all jazzed up about DIYing ceremony decorations after seeing this wedding on A Practical Wedding:

How gorgeous are those ribbons? I thought about translating this ribbon tree idea into some kind of branch alter structure, or hanging bunches of these all around the nooks and crannies of the Marston House gardens.

BUT...after I make them all, who hangs them? We can't hang them up the night before - it's a public garden, and we only have it reserved for the morning of ceremony. Who knows how many would fall down or, ahem, "walk off." And obviously I can't put them up that morning because I'll be getting ready. As will my Maid-of-Honor sister and Bridesmaid sister-in-law. Same goes for all the men.

And what about the reception? I love the jars full of flowers that are shown with the table numbers in my previous post, and we could very easily buy jars and loose flowers and fill them, but who sets them up? And who delivers them to the restaurant in the morning? We can't very well ask a small and busy restaurant to hold 200 jars of flowers on a Friday night. Any of you that have DIY'd your wedding and held it somewhere other than your backyard or parents' house but somewhere where you only have a short access window? If so, we'd love your tips!

It may be years until the day my dreams will match up with my pay

I'm having a small panic moment. How do people afford weddings?? I thought that the amount of money we had set aside seemed like a perfectly respectable amount. Then I started using the budget tool on Martha Stewart Weddings. Going through each item, adding a piece here, a piece there...before you know it, I'm way over what I thought I would need. Favors? Band for the reception? Limos? Hotel rooms for out of town guests? How could anyone ever afford to do all these things? Between the food, the clothes, the venues, the photographer and the flowers, I'm tapped out. It sucks. I wish I could pull out all the stops for my friends and family, but I just can't.

But I can tell you right now that our reception music will be provided by an Ipod. Or, at most, a friend wielding a laptop with a pre-programmed itunes playlist. No way I'm paying some random $600 to play "Baby Got Back" or "We are Family" at my wedding.