Tomorrow is my birthday. Since it falls on a Thursday, I wasn't planning anything big to celebrate until the weekend. Several weeks back, JT and I decided that we would celebrate by spending the weekend in LA relaxing, eating and shopping. Recently, upon learning that this was how we were going to celebrate my birthday, a friend of mine asked "And you won't do any wedding related stuff, right?"
A month ago, I would have said "exactly." Those wedding related details seemed so daunting, at times even draining to figure out. But given the recent barrage of tragedy, wedding planning has taken on a whole new focus. It's a breath of fresh air, a joy in each day.
At the very beginning of the planning process, I had a bit of a breakdown. I was totally stressed that vendors I had approached were either too expensive or not at all interested in working with us. I began to think that we could never have the type of wedding that we wanted in San Diego (which led me to start this blog). But gradually, things began to fall into place. And with bad news after bad news descending on us in the month of June, wedding planning to a back seat to dealing with overwhelming feelings of sadness and fear. At first, I felt extremely guilty wanting to do anything wedding related. Part of me still does and always will.
But another part of me is grateful for the reminder of why this wedding is important. And for putting into perspective why obsessing about details is not. And for reminding me that wedding planning should be joyous, should be relished and enjoyed, not filled with stress and anxiety and animosity. I truly hope that every bride from here on out will remember that.
I know, I know...my post got a little personal today. I guess that's what birthdays will do to you!